Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Back to school, back to school...

This has nothing to do with anything today, just gettin' a little personal, feel free to skip it (c:

I had a "moment" yesterday.

Okay, maybe not so much a "moment" as a "freaking-out-entirely-mommy-crisis".


You see, my oldest is going to Kindergarten this year, in THREE weeks. ALL DAY LONG. And I thought I  was just fine with it. No big deal right???

Apparently, IT'S A BIG DEAL.


I went to register him yesterday and they ask you all sorts of ridiculous questions..."What are your child's strengths?", "Does he/she regularly listen to adults?", "What makes him/her upset/angry/sad and how do you deal with it?" 


And I'm sitting there thinking I already know all this stuff, but THEY DON'T. What if something happens and I'm not there? What if he really does get upset/angry/sad there and I'm not there to make it all better? What if they don't recognize all the things that are great about him and think he's just another average joe in a class full of kids????

Deep down I know that he's not going to get kidnapped by ninjas or tortured by evil spies and that his teacher, in all likelihood, is not an alien from another planet.

RIGHT?!?

So why did I get a tight feeling in my chest and a lump in my throat leaving the school yesterday??? Why did I cry the whole way home at the thought of my little buddy being at school all day long?


Deep down, I know that this is just the beginning of another chapter in his life, one where mommy is just not *quite* as big of a part of it. I just don't think I realized that it would come so quick...I mean 5 1/2 years really sneaks up on you!

Really, I'm not crazy. I realize that it will be fine and I'll be fine and eventually, it really will be no big deal.

But for right now, I'm really dreading August 8th.

I fully realize that I'm venting here, but I assume that some of you have already gone through this or will go through it and darn it, there's just nothing else to do but whine about it (c;


18 comments:

Starr @ The Kiefer Cottage said...

My eldest is starting preschool (she's 4.5), and I'm grateful that even kindy is half day around here. I'm not very sentimental about most things, but the thought of Katie starting school has me kind of sad. I can't believe how fast time flies.

Sam [The Peak of Tres Chic] said...

you are such a wonderful mommy. Your little one is so lucky to have you as a wonderful encouragement and source of strength. I know these concerns are completely normal. I know he will stand out and learn so much from school! Thinking of you sweet girl. :)

Designwali said...

my little guy starts in september...so i know how you feel. but they will be fine...when kid #1 went i cried...but she did so well and its fun to see them learn!

Carissa @ the Fabulous Design File said...

I've been there... both my boys are in Montessori, and my oldest started when he was 3. He went every afternoon until he was 5, and then started full days. I wasn't ready for my little guy to start at 3, so he started when he was 4. This year he's 5 and will go full days. I had all of the same worries as you, and I don't think I could have left them there if the teachers weren't so amazing. It's hard, but it gets better! (I'm actually kind of looking forward to my alone time this year!)

Lonely Wife Project said...

You are such a sweetheart! I don't have kids yet, but I've heard from friends that do that soon you'll be cherishing the time you get when they're in school.

Cassie @ Primitive & Proper said...

2 years ago sawyer headed to kindergarten. and though he was abducted by ninjas that first year, we survived. emmy heads off this year.... my last baby. :) and you know what i am feeling- liberation! it is hard to let go, but it's a new phase with more freedom. remember that.

Courtney {a thoughtful place} said...

Oh, so sweet. I had all of these feelings and still do. Especially the ninja part! ;) Another first in a long line of them. Tugs at your heart for sure.

Tamra {ever swoon} said...

Awww kindergarten!! To cute, but getting so big!

Shelley {Crazy Wonderful} said...

Oh my gosh Aubrey, I'm totally having these feelings about Izzy starting preschool! I have zero words of wisdom to give, but I'm totally going to be calling on you to give me some when my time comes :D

Emily said...

You'll cry, you'll worry, and then he'll tell you how much he LOVES school and all about his new friends, and then you'll cry some more. But after a few days (weeks?) of this, you'll get in the swing of things and you'll be so happy that he's happy, and you'll wonder what you were crying about before. I've done it with two--I cry every single year, but I have to tell you, I'm actually looking forward to school starting in September. Three kids is a lot more work than one! Big hugs, Aubs!

Suzy www.savedbysuzy.blogspot.com said...

Change is always so hard! Especially when it involves the little ones. Aubrey, you are a GREAT mom. I'm sure your son will love school and come home with all kinds of great stories about his new friends and all of the cool things he's doing. You might even enjoy having a little time alone with your daughter or just maybe alone with yourself!!!! Hang in there. I know it's hard...my girls are all starting a new school and I'm a nervous wreck...I just hope they like it and the kids and teachers are nice to them.

Lindsey @ be pretty said...

Awwww, sweetie! I can only imagine, I remember my mom {to this day} saying that was the hardest part! Just think of how much more special it is when he runs into your arms everyday after school! :) And just think of all the extra time you'll have {for blogging} while the lil nugget is at school! Big fat hug your way... I'm thinking of you!

Lisa at Shine Your Light said...

Yes, motherhood is a bittersweet journey. He'll still your baby no matter how old he is! He'll always need his mama….even when he's 13 and pretends he doesn't like someone I know :)

designstiles said...

My sister who just had a baby is going back to work and has to leave her then three-month old with daycare. He'll be fine and she's leaving him with a woman she trusts, but still. She feels guilty and can only imagine what can happen when she's not the one to run to him when he starts crying. Makes me sad and he's only my nephew. I don't mean "only" my nephew. But you know, not my kid per se.

Jessie said...

I can totally relate, Aubrey! When my son went to pre-K on the first day, I felt sad and had tears in my eyes on my way home.

It was a little emotional for me. After a week, you will be so glad your little one goes to school and learned so much new things. You will be happy to see all the artwork/ crafts he brought home.

As a mom, you don't always get a break and when you do, you will be so happy you have time for yourself.

Cheer up! Have a good weekend!

Jessie
www.mixandchic.com

Kara said...

Oh ya, I totally had ALL these feelings with Rylee last year! And I have to agree with Emily, you'll be sad and shed some tears for the first couples days (or week) but eventually you are ok with it (and even enjoy it a little too, haha!) Love ya!

christine {bijouandboheme} said...

Ah Aubrey...I totally understand how your feeling- seeing out kids grow up is HARD SHIT...I totally just want to freeze them at 4, when they're whole world is mommy. But, school is good- I promise all will be fine, after that first hard day and pretty soon, you'll love having a little extra time to yourself. Hugs xoxo

Chassity (Look Linger Love) said...

Oh. You see I haven't even thought about all that. It will be hard. But it will be so good too. Just remember that. Pinky swear.